At the End of my Rope at the End of the Road...

"When you get to your wits end, you will find, God lives there."

~ Author Unknown

I know it has been almost a week since I have last written.  Like the title of this post says, I have pretty much felt like I have been at the end of my rope.  Last week was my LAST WEEK on bed rest, and let me tell you...it was probably the worst mentally.  Life was still going on around me and I was still sitting in a world by myself.


I have mentioned the importance of a support system...friends who KNOW you, your situation, and how to get a smile on your face.  I was rescued from my own self-sabotage by one of my best friends on Thursday (Thank you, Deva!!).  We took a field trip...not big, but enough to get me away from the walls I felt closing in on me.


Friday was my final Dr. appointment before being officially taken off meds and bed rest.  It went well!!  The baby sounded great on the monitor, I actually had a couple contractions (didn't feel them, but saw them on the monitor), and as a TOTAL shock to the Doc...I was dilated to 4 cm and was 80% effaced!!  Needless to say, having that progress with only 1 week off the Ibuprofen and still ON the Nifedipine, we expected to see the arrival of Taz pretty soon.


So now we are at the end of the bed rest road.  Where do we go from here?  Taz continues doing what he/she has been doing since day 1, but where do I begin the next step of this path?  The field trip WIPED me out.  After all, for 8 weeks, I barely used my legs.  I am 8 weeks behind in the "conditioning" for this marathon that could start at any minute.  As excited as I am at the prospect of seeing my baby soon, I want to make sure I have at least enough strength left to give him/her the best entrance into this world as possible.

Shifting the Focus Paradigm

"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death."  

~Author Unknown

When I started this blog, I did it with the intention of sharing my journey of combining the two paradigms of health care and how they can work cohesively.  At this point, I can see how easy it is to slip into the "what's easiest" mentality, rather than the "what's best" way of thinking.  Yesterday we went in for the weekly BPP and this time got another measurement.  The last time Taz was measured, he/she was approximately 4 lbs. 3 oz.  Yesterday, Taz was measured at approximately 6 lbs. 10 oz.  I am 34 weeks and 4 days...Taz is growing big and strong!!

I also started thinking about the pubic symphysis pain I have been experiencing.  It has been a "nagging" pain for a couple weeks, but it wasn't until Sunday and Monday of this week that the pain had become excruciating.  What I realized last night after posting the last blog, was that I have been on Ibuprofen for weeks.  Sooo...of course it wasn't as painful as it has been over the past few days.  Getting my head back to "My" reality, it was reassuring to know that now that my body isn't being "tricked" by the ibuprofen, my natural pain relievers and endorphines will be able to take affect and the pain will subside a bit.


Looking forward to the delivery and the "freedom" I'm going to have in a few days, I'm going to be off medications that were put into place for the trauma/emergency treatment that Taz and I needed to keep him/her safe and still "cooking".  I'm also going to be off bed rest.  That means....the allopathic "Reactive" treatments are done for now.  It is time to go back to Vitalism and being "Proactive" in preparing for a healthy, natural delivery.  After all...it wasn't the medication or lack of movement that got Taz to the size that he/she is...it was INNATE!!!  


This entire time, the baby has been growing and developing without the NEED for anything to do it.  Everything else was to make sure there was enough time for the baby to develop.  Now, it is up to Taz on when he/she wants to "make a break for it" again.  This time, we will welcome him/her with open arms and lots of love!!

Removing Some Shackles...Putting on Others

"Being in jail, it's humbled me in a way I never imagined."
~ Foxy Brown

34 weeks and 2 days today.  This is my second day OFF Ibuprofen.  YEAH!!!  One set of shackles off...just a couple more to go.  It is amazing how much being on bed rest can make you feel like you are a prisoner in your own body.

As a parent, we teach our children skills to try to prevent them from going down the wrong path and being positive, contributing members of society, rather than a prisoner.  As a Chiropractor, I do the same for my patients and their health.  I teach them skills to implement into their lives that can help prevent them from becoming prisoners in their own bodies.  How many have seen shows like The Biggest Loser?  One of the things the contestants almost always say is that they once feel like they were "prisoners in their own body, but now they are free to live."  

I have mentioned before about my prior health issue from a couple summers ago.  This pregnancy is showing me even more.  What is expected of me on bed rest goes completely against all I promote in my pregnant patients.  I tell them to start moving early...establish a nice exercise routine...and to think of themselves as an athlete training for a marathon in approximately 40 weeks.  Certain muscles need to be toned, certain nutritional considerations must be made, and most importantly, Chiropractic visits need to be maintained to be sure biostructural and neurological integrity is maintained.  

Because of the bed rest, there has been muscle atrophy.  At this stage of the pregnancy, the hormone Relaxin is increasing in the body to prepare it for delivery.  That relaxes ligaments and the pubic symphysis, the cartilage joint in the front of the pelvis.  When I take care of my pregnant patients, this is the time visits are more frequent to make sure that biostructural integrity is there for delivery....having my "sentence", I haven't been able to get the care I recommend for my patients, and MY pubic symphysis has some dysfunction going on.  OUCH!!!  

Again, having to experience what happens when things are approached reactively rather than proactively has strengthened my purpose for what I do and WHY I do it.  Once I get into a comfortable position, I'm fine.  However, the moment I start moving my legs to shift or move...or those first steps after finally being able to stand....I'm brought to tears.  Off with the Ibuprofen shackles, on with the ball and chain of pain!!

Connection Interrupted...

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

~ George Bernard Shaw

For anyone who has been confined to bed rest, they can understand how loneliness can build.  The feeling of loss of control of your life and everything around you just builds and builds along with your feeling of uselessness.  The most interaction you have is with the people you connect with online either through chat rooms filled with people in your similar situation, or taking those awkward phone calls from people you haven't spoken with in a long time calling you to see how you are "recovering".  Don't get me wrong, I TRULY appreciate the gesture, but I haven't suffered an injury or had an illness that I need to recover FROM.  Those who truly KNOW you and your situation are different.  Those are the true breaths of fresh air that help you reconnect with the "outside world".  

Unfortunately, the communication that seems to breakdown and the connection that seems to be the most interrupted is that with your SO (significant other).  I have to say again, my Hubby has been AMAZING through this whole experience, and I couldn't ask for a more supportive partner.  I really couldn't ask for more.  We see each other everyday, especially now that I'm home, but even though we are together...WE are not TOGETHER.

In most cases, I'm asleep or in bed when he gets home from work, and when I wake up in the morning (I stay in bed longer since I'm up every 3 hours to take medications), he is already out of bed and downstairs because he has walked the 11 yr. old to the bus stop.  I shower, get dressed for the day, gather my things to move the "party" downstairs, and head to my other "perch".  As I get down there, he starts on preparing my breakfast.  From that moment on, it is non-stop for him.  He then cleans the kitchen, gets some laundry done, runs errands, grocery shops, all while I'm sitting not being able to help him.  So...even though we are home together...we aren't TOGETHER.

With a routine like that, what is there really to talk about?  What is new with me?  Well...I may have seen a new episode of a television show...or stumbled across a new website...or read a few more chapters in a book.  What I have discovered over the past several days is that I REALLY miss US.  I miss being able to focus on US and the baby together.  The only time we really get that opportunity is to and from Dr. appointments.  Trust me when I say....it's not enough.

For those of you going through something similar, let me give you a heads-up....MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER.  Schedule one-on-one time with NO distractions.  I really took for granted the visits I had from him in the hospital.  They were brief, but the entire time  he was there it was US time...baby time...with no interruptions or distractions.  The nurses would stay away when he came and would come in again after he left.  Now that I'm home, it is different.  We are alone together a lot more, but the distractions of the kids, the house, etc, takes that time away.  Now is the time you need to be strengthening your connection in preparation for the time you need to be the most in sync...The arrival of your little one.

Being on bed rest is a LONELY sentence.  It really is.  Until someone has been there themselves, they truly can't fully understand the impact it has on your psyche.  Physical pains develop from the lack of muscle use and movement.  Psychological pains develop from the lack of interaction with other people.  Life is going on outside your four walls.  Field trips are nice, but where do you go to somewhat feel "normal" again and still not push it?  

Teamwork is the most important during that time and you need to be able to KNOW you can count on each other and both of your needs are met at that time.  There should be absolutely NO static in that line of communication.  I know for me, I want Taz to come earthside to a fully connected parental unit so he/she knows the love we have for him/her from that very first breath.

A Morning with my Valentines

"If I know what love is, it is because of you."

~ Herman Hesse

Aahhh...Valentine's Day.  I love holidays.  I love opportunities to show loved ones just how much I love and appreciate them.  I try to do it every day in some form, but on a day like today, where it is all around...everywhere you look...you make sure that they know how you feel.  This morning I got so spend time with 2 of the most important Valentines in my life.  It is Tuesday, so I went in for my BPP.

These days are nice because I actually get to spend time with hubby and it is about us and Taz...no interruption...no distractions.  It is a lot like those early mornings on his way to work while I was in the hospital.  The nurses would see him arrive and wait until he left to come in.  We got US time and an opportunity to focus on this baby.  It doesn't happen like that much anymore.

The romance of Valentine's Day is lost in this case, too, not only because we don't get much time together, but the way that time is spent is very non-romantic.  This morning, however, we got a closer picture of what our love created and where our hearts are.  During the BPP we got a 3D image of Taz!!  I used to think it was in a way "cheating" in getting a preview look at what he/she looks like.  Being in that ultrasound room took that thought TOTALLY out of my head.

One thing totally stood out in the image we were able to capture....CHEEKS!!!  Cheeks that I can't WAIT to squeeze and kiss.  I considered posting the picture, but I'm going to make you guys wait until the real deal...he he he...ain't I a stinker?!?!

Today's post isn't going to be a long one...I just want to spread the message to remember that even though today is when it is "expected" to express your love for those special people in your lives...don't forget the other 364 (365 days in this year because of Leap Year) in the year.

A special message for the Hubby...who has had to be everything to everyone and then some during this part of our journey...I love you, to infinity....AND BEYOND!!!

Shower Time!!!

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof."

 ~ Richard Bach

I had to post this picture to start off this post.  The 17 yr. old attached to me is my niece...the one who dubbed the baby "Produce"...and is one of the coolest kids I know.  She was "talking" to the baby, as she does EVERY time she sees me.  In fact, she will see me, get a big smile on her face, open her arms wide, and go straight for my uterus....I'm literally just the transport system for her "little buddy".  I'm sure you can tell by her skin tone and hair color that she probably isn't related by blood, but is, in fact, technically Hubby's niece by blood...mine by heart and love (and marriage).  This weekend was one filled with the family described in the quote...MY family...not all of blood, but of TOTAL respect and JOY.

My mom and sister put together an amazing shower that had me smiling from ear to ear all weekend!!  My Nina (Godmother) was their partner in crime, and dad did a lot of "heavy lifting".  Hubby worked REAL hard last week to get the house and yard ready for the party, too.  I do have to admit, however, that today I had a bit of a "Baby Shower hangover" and after showering this morning just put on fresh jammies to hang out in all day (thanks, Nina, for the new jammies!!).  As I mentioned before, it followed the wedding movie-theme.  The invites were ordered from Storkie.com and had a fast turn-around between ordering and them being delivered.  (The picture is obviously just an example of the style)

We held a diaper raffle, so for each pack of diapers a guest would bring, they would get a raffle ticket...the more diapers they brought, the more entries into the raffle.  We raffled off a $50 gift card to Costco.  Not too shabby, I must say...I wish WE could have won!!  As each guest came in, turned in their diapers, and got their raffle ticket(s), they would also be shown a tray full of various items.  They were given 10 seconds to look at the tray.  It was for a game later.  I'm sure most of you who have attended a baby shower are familiar with this game.  Just before the cake and gifts they were given 1 minute to write down as many of the items as they could remember.

We played a total of 4 games and gave away movie passes as prizes.  They were wrapped in white, red, or yellow tissue paper and placed in a popcorn bag.  Other games included "Name the Celebrity", "Baby Talk", and Name the "Baby Movie".  For "Name the Celebrity", I made a collage of images of 30 celebrities as babies.  Guests had 15 minutes to try to name as many as they could.  For "Baby Talk", I would read a movie quote that contained the word "Baby" or a word related to baby and the guests would then have 10 seconds to write down the name of the movie.  For example:  "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."  The guests would then have 10 seconds to figure out and put down the movie Dirty Dancing.  The final game the guests had 1 minute to write down as many movie titles they could think of that contained the word "Baby".  Hubby and I came up with 17, but I found 38 online for the answer key.

The cake was AMAZING!!!  A good friend owns Bella Cakes, and let me tell you...SHE ROCKS!!!!  She made it look like a popcorn tub...filled with "popcorn" (white chocolate).  So adorable....and was also accompanied with four different flavors of cupcakes:  Chocolate-espresso (with organic espresso beans), Chocolate-coconut, Chocolate-peanut butter, and Chocolate-raspberry.  Yummmmmmm......

Mom passed out "Advice for mom" cards for guests to fill out for me and favors that were mini popcorn boxes that said "About to Pop".  They were filled with root beer flavored and popcorn flavored jelly-bellies and chocolate covered raisins....Movie snack essentials.  Popcorn bowls filled with popcorn FROM the movie theater were put on tables instead of chips.

The best part of the day was WHO was at the shower.  My family.  Not the kind I was born into, but the kind that has been formed throughout my life.  These are the people who have been there for me through thick and thin...at every stage of my life...the family I married into...even friends I haven't seen in a long time, but have kept in touch with because they ARE my family.  It truly showed that not only have they been and will be there for me throughout my life, but they will be there for Taz as well.  A lot of them were asking how I was holding up with the bed rest because "That so isn't you to have to sit still and not do things."  See...they KNOW me.  It was reflected also in the types of gifts I received for Taz...organic clothing...natural baby products, etc.

It was truly a day of celebration for Taz's upcoming arrival.  Actually, it was the entire weekend.....I had an aunt who couldn't make it Saturday so she visited me on Friday, and another (the one who gifted me with the Faith Cross) who visited Sunday.  I am overcome with the feeling of love and support.  I can carry this on as I approach the last few weeks of this part of the journey.  Thank you, my family (including my out-of-towners...Tucson...Oklahoma...Nebraska...Northern California...and "Kool-Aid drinkers").  I know with having you in our lives, there is nothing we can't do!!  Taz is one loved child already!!!

Love and Marriage

“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”

~ Paul Sweeney

Today is my parents' 37th Wedding Anniversary.  Amazing these days to think about marriages lasting that long.  I love it!!  They have been amazing examples of parents, friends, teachers, love, commitment, and marriage. Don't get me wrong...they have had their fair share of ups, downs, challenges, and trials, but they pull together and make it work.  They are MY examples!!  It has really made me think of my wedding and everything that has gone on since.  I know I mentioned the baby shower having the same theme as the wedding, I think tonight I'm going to spill more details on that theme.

Hubby and I originally met through e-mails...my Godmother and his mom had worked together for over 20 years and my Godmother (Nina) passed on my e-mail address.  We started chatting and one of the things that got the ball rolling was that we were both movie-buffs and big on trivia.  Every e-mail ended with a trivia question to try to stump the other person.  Not to brag...but my mom kept scolding me to let him win a couple (we also learned we are both pretty competitive...in a healthy, fun way).  Our first date was to a Cinema Supper club...a movie-themed wedding was just too fitting.

Wedding dress shopping can be overwhelming, but when I found mine (the 6th one I tried on) it was perfect.  When you know...you just know.  The sweetest part of it all...what the style was called..."The Marilyn"!  As in Monroe!!  How could anything be more perfect?

Our Save the Dates were movie previews that I had made, burned onto DVDs and mailed out.  I think in my next life I should make personalized movies for people...making that was a lot of fun and started me doing those for other occasions, too.  In fact, I made one for my parents today...and expect to see a few after Taz is born.  Our invitations were movie posters with a picture from our engagement photo shoot.  Also fun to put together.

As far as decor, etc....Our guest book was actually a ceramic Popcorn bowl that everyone signed.  When we got home we baked the bowl to set the signatures.  Rather than the tables being numbered, they were named after movies with Wedding themes...our table was "Just Married"...there was "Father of the Bride", "The Wedding Date", "Wedding Crashers", "My Best Friend's Wedding", "The Wedding Singer", "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", and "Made of Honor".  I laminated small movie posters of the table name, and put them next to a "Cast List" as a seating chart.  The centerpieces were those same small movie posters in a clapboard picture holder.  That was sitting atop a movie reel set inside a popcorn bowl.

Guest favors were customized popcorn boxes filled with real movie theater popcorn and the name plates at the seats were gold stars.  Our cake was AMAZING.  Donna Joy at Sedona Sweet Arts took Hubby's idea and brought it to life!!  The layers were movie canisters with a couple open reels.  The front had a movie clapboard with the wedding info on it and there were sugar movie "tickets" around the base.  As guests arrived, the music playing was all movie scores.  It was basically just a fun party.


Sometimes it feels like only yesterday...others it seems like a lifetime ago.  These days it seems like forever ago.  I look forward to the day when our conversations extends to more than just "Do you need anything, sweetie?  Need anymore water?  How are your sugars?  Bye, sweetie...I'll text you when I can...I love you...be good."  I think that's the extent of our conversations because that is all that's going on right now.  It is routine...scheduled meals, meds, and blood sugar checks...sprinkled with a couple Dr. appointments in the week.  I love my Husband more today than the day we were married.  His strength and support through everything has been more than I could have ever asked for.  It just confirms how thankful I am to have him as the father of my baby and partner in life.  Taz and I are lucky and I hope we can be the example to Taz that my parents have been for me.

I'm Down with BPP...Yeah, You Know Me!!

"An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises."
~ Mae West

Today was our first BPP (Biophysical Profile) appointment.  Mae West was absolutely correct with her statement, and it fits perfectly for a BPP.  For those who do not know what a BPP is, I will explain it in today's post (I will be mentioning it again in later posts, since I will be getting 1 a week for next few weeks).  


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A Biophysical Profile (BPP) test measures the health of the baby during pregnancy. A BPP test may include a nonstress test with electronic fetal heart monitoring and a fetal ultrasound. It measures the baby's heart rate, muscle tone, movement, breathing, and the amount of amniotic fluid around the baby.  The measurement of the amniotic fluid is especially important right now, as well as a closer assessment of the heart, since I'm on Ibuprofen for reducing contractions.  Ibuprofen can have a negative affect on fluid and development of the heart.

A BPP is commonly done in the last trimester of pregnancy. If there is a chance that the baby may have problems during the pregnancy (high-risk pregnancy), a BPP may be done by 32 to 34 weeks or earlier. Some women with high-risk pregnancies may have a BPP test every week or twice a week in the third trimester.  The schedule I am on will be a BPP once a week on Tuesdays and a NST (nonstress test) on Fridays.  Nonstress tests are what I was having twice a day at the hospital with the baby being put on an external fetal heart rate monitor.

So...how did "Little" Taz do?  Passed with FLYING colors!!!  When checking for "breathing", what is looked for is practice breathing.  This is the motion that shows that the baby will naturally know how to take that first breath upon coming earthside.  The baby has 30 minutes to demonstrate this behavior...Taz did it in the first 30 seconds!!!  Taz also lived up to the nickname and was squirming all over, demonstrating great movement and muscle tone.  Fluid measurement was perfect, as well as heart rate.  I have an Honor Roll child already!!  He he he

Staying on this cloud...I decided to spend the afternoon and evening upstairs in bed.  It has been nice...just talking to Taz and putting together the Baby Shower favors.  I'll post pics later...but seeing as how this is a Wedding Night baby, and our wedding was "Movie-themed", we are going for a "Coming Attraction" Movie-themed shower!!  So excited to fill you in with more details...too bad it's late and I need to go to sleep now.  Ha ha ha...ain't I a stinker???

Sweet Dreams are NOT These.....

"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?"
~ John Lennon

Who during their pregnancy experienced very vivid dreams?  I can safely say that besides the overwhelming fatigue, the only other "symptom" of my first trimester was VERY vivid dreams.  They were so detailed that they would even trigger an emotional response.  I would wake up bawling, terrified, whatever the dream triggered.  When they started to "lighten up" in the second trimester, I had never been so relieved.  These dreams weren't the "crazy" kind, but more of the "tap into every single one of your insecurities and show them to you in a detailed real-life scenario".  Uggghhh!

What was it that the Poltergeist girl said in the sequel???  Oh yeah...."They're baaaaaack!"  This time, however, they are accompanied by third trimester hormones, which include an infinite supply of tears.  Oh yeah....and let's not forget that since I have medication that I need to take every three hours, so I'm awake that frequently, that triples the amount of dreams I'm having each night.  Have I said, "Uggghhh" yet??

Today I was excited because I had a field trip with my mom to Vita Bella Fine Day Spa for a mani and pedi....I HAVE MISSED YOU, LISA!!!!  Not many other things can make a woman feel as pretty as fresh hands and pretty toes.  Of course, I couldn't stop crying all the way there.  Fortunately Lisa has known me a long time and knew exactly how to make me smile again and forget the stressors on my mind.  I was able to recover, had a nice ride home, mom got me settled back on the couch at home and I realized I had maybe a half-hour to 45 minutes before the first kid would get home.  Could it be??? Could I possibly have a quiet enough house to nap downstairs???

Sure did!!!....Well.....for a little while.  What is it about kids (teenagers included) that makes them feel their arrival to the house requires everyone to KNOW they have arrived??  Also, has anyone noticed that the smallest kid is the one that makes the most noise upon arrival?  Needless to say, the nap was very short-lived.  I also started feeling like this baby is probably going to feel like if/when he/she has a nap interrupted.  This has just overall been a rough day....sleepy....hormonal....trying to NOT think about the dreams of last night or worry about the dreams that are sure to come tonight...and seeing as how it is Monday, it is back to work for Hubby.

Even with his four days off this weekend, I feel like I barely saw him.  This evening when I was home alone with the kids, it was a huge reminder of just how much he is taking on.  Gathering my stuff up to move upstairs, I made the mistake of glancing into the kitchen.  There I saw the trash can overflowing with paper plates and stuff from the kids' after school snacks and dinner, and one of the kids was just sitting there watching a movie on the iPod and eating.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I'm going to confess right here, and I'm expecting the punishment to come.  I took the trash out and wiped down the table.  I did it.  I HAD TO!!  Prepare yourselves...but I also put a new bag in the trash can.  It is stuff like this that contribute to the dreams.

I think I need to invest in horse-blinders, ear plugs, and some sort of emotional protective bubble.  Does anyone know where I can register for those things?

The Ultimate Super Bowl

"Success demands singleness of purpose."
~ Vince Lombardi

Super Bowl Sunday...an unofficial American national holiday.  Even though someone may not be a football fan, millions tune in for the commercials and musical entertainment.  It is the big game that every NFL player works all year to reach, and only a select few make it to.  Personally, I don't have any preference of winners in today's game (my team was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs), but I will watch with respect for the work the players put into their preparation.

What does this have to do with my pregnancy and challenges?  I can look at those teams and how they approached their season leading up to the big game.  The take the season one game at a time.  Do they think about the Super Bowl?  Yes...but they also know that without getting through each game individually, they really lose sight of their purpose...to truly be the best team in the NFL.

Again...what does that have to do with my pregnancy?  I have to stop looking ahead so much at the final outcome of having the baby here at the house...I need to focus on each day at a time (right now) keeping Taz inside.  Also, the Super Bowl of pregnancy is NOT bringing the baby home, but the actual delivery.

Preparing for the Super Bowl, they know that they can't just rely on only 1 player.  They train as a TEAM.  The same goes for delivery...with choosing the right coach for yourself, doc, midwife, doula....however you want to create your TEAM.  Mine will consist of Hubby as my coach, mom is my doula, sister is my photographer, dad as back-up photographer, Dr. Francois as my receiver, and I will definitely be THE play-calling quarterback!!  That's right...I WILL BE calling the plays. 

So how does your team train together?  It starts with putting it together and making sure all players understand their roles.  Choosing the right receiver for the type of quarterback mom plans on being.  The coach and quarterback (Mom and Coach) NEED to be on the same page when putting together their playbook...their birth plan....their pre-natal plans....educating themselves on the process overall.  In our case, I'm realizing that my coach has coached a very different-styled quarterback 3 previous times, and though I have never been put in the game myself, I have coached and have trained quarterbacks on "the game".  

Throughout the pregnancy you have your "trainers" to make sure your body is in the best shape to perform, making sure you a fueling your body correctly, and keeping physical shape (with exercise and Chiropractic).  Ha ha ha...this analogy is getting fun.

Ok...back to business.  When you are approaching "Super Bowl" time, the most important team member you need to get in sync with is your coach.  The coach is going to be there for you in those moments when you may not be able to make the decisions needed.  You need to make sure that your coach knows EXACTLY what you want.  There should be a seamless connection between the two of you that will demonstrate a speechless dance through the process.  Discussions of what to pack...when to leave (if going to a hospital or birth center)....when to call the "receiver" (doc, midwife, etc) and rest of the team...etc.

The most successful football teams that I have witnessed are the ones that work together as a team and have amazing communication.  The best deliveries I have witnessed do the same. So, now that I'm "in training" for MY Super Bowl....I plan on each day being a "win" that will take me to the ultimate trophy:  The delivery of my dreams with the ultimate "Lombardi trophy"...a beautiful, healthy baby.

What Goes Up, Must Come Down....even a day.

"Everything in life... has to have balance."
~ Donna Karan

32 weeks today!!!!  Unfortunately I had a rough sleep last night, so I thought I would just enjoy the morning in bed.  I recreated my "Zen" sanctuary in the bedroom with the door closed, showered and freshly made bed, television remote in my hand, and the "outside world" where it belongs....outside.  Today is Hubby's third day off in a row!!!  That does NOT happen often at all.  His usual work schedule is a 6-day work week with Saturdays off only.  I was hoping to be able to spend some REAL time with him while he was off, but with the 14 yr old having her last 2 basketball games the past couple days, my mom and sister throwing my baby shower here at the house next weekend so the backyard needed work, and the 15 yr old having a choir concert today, he has been a bit busy on his "off" time.  We are hoping that after the shower things will quiet down enough that he can breathe and we can enjoy a "Zen" moment together.  One thing we did notice, unfortunately, is that we were really out of sync.  It seemed difficult to joke or even have basic communication.  I can tell the stress of everything he is having to do is starting to weigh on him, and I REALLY wish the kids would step up to help him more.  That may have to be a talk I have with them some time early next week while he is at work.  I'm not really sure they realize all he is going on his own.  Ok...back to my "Zen" morning.  I had a great breakfast, wonderful lunch, had a brief visit from my Sister-in-law which was great since I hadn't seen her in almost a month!!!  Overall a good morning.....

...until I came downstairs.  As the quote says, everything in life has to have balance.  For every peaceful moment, apparently there must be a "stress-building" moment.  I knew hubby had been working on the backyard all morning.  I peeked out of the upstairs window a few times and saw him working hard.  I guess I just kind of hoped that the teenagers would take care of what was going on INSIDE the house....not so much.  As I walked downstairs (with wobbly "Bambi legs") I glanced into the family room to see a pair of the kids' shoes laying there in the middle of the room.  As I'm getting on the couch I kick something hard on the ground...a glass (fortunately empty).  I knew I couldn't sit here the rest of the day just staring at them, so I took the shoes and literally tossed them up the stairs, and took the glass into the kitchen.  The thing I'm realizing this time I had a break in my Peaceful day, is that since I was told that in 3 weeks I'm off bed rest and am free to do what I want.  Today's downstair "smack to the face" didn't get me as anxious as the last time because I KNOW that in 3 weeks I can help my Hubby again!!  I can dust...vacuum....cook....and NEST. Most importantly, I can take some of the pressure off hubby and get back to feeling like this is a true partnership again.  Maybe THEN we can fully get back in sync.

Status check #2....

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another."
~ Walter Elliott 

Well, it's Friday again...time to check in with Dr. Francois.  I would have thought that by this time (my second full week home and second check-in) I would be more relaxed about my appointments and less anxious about what could happen.  I have done everything I am supposed to, despite what my selfish wants are, have still been getting adjusted, and eating the way I should, so I should expect good results, right?  One would think.  For some reason, however, the night before an appointment and the morning of I'm a nervous, anxious ball of tension....not exactly good for the blood pressure.

Hubby and I headed to the appointment, and he could tell I was nervous.  I started chuckling as he "demonstrated" how he's going to help me relax while in labor.  That gives me something to look forward to.....(only slight sarcasm in the tone).  When we arrived, I checked in and went back to leave my "sample".  I had been guzzling water down all morning because I had gone to the bathroom when I woke up and needed a better output than my last appointment.  :-/   As I came out, Hubby was already in the ultrasound room and the tech was ready for me.  Everything looked GREAT!!!  My fluids were perfect, the baby's heart looked and sounded amazing (they are really checking because of the ibuprofen I'm on right now to hold off the contractions), and we I felt a huge sense of relief come over me.  Baby check down...now to see the Doc to check on mommy.

I went back into her exam room (basic vitals and consult was all that was going on today), got weighed (yuck), and my BP was taken.  Perfect blood pressure! Another relief considering the anxiety I was feeling all morning.  Consult went great, too!!  Here's the scoop now....tomorrow I reach 32 weeks (my Doc is ECSTATIC!!)...at 34 weeks I'm off the Ibuprofen...at 35 weeks I'm off all "stop the labor" meds so I'm only on the meds to keep my blood sugars in check, and if I go into labor at that point, she's not stopping it...GAME ON!  She also stated that she isn't going to do anything to HELP labor along, so it will be a natural process.  LOVE HER!!  So here I am...again, status quo...sitting on the couch, on the computer, with the TV on.  Tomorrow....I think I'm going to stay upstairs and read more....it's a "Zen" kinda day.

Surprises and Preparation

"A grand adventure is about to begin."

~ Winnie the Pooh

We are now in the month that I "Need to get through".  I'm just glad it's the shortest month of the year...of course hubby has to be the comedian and point out that it's a leap year, so there is one extra day!!  I have another weekly appointment with my Doc tomorrow...including an ultrasound.  Another opportunity to find out the sex of the baby, but we are standing strong and keeping it a surprise!!  A really good friend is expecting her third child.  When I originally told her that we were going to keep the sex of the baby a secret, she pretty much laughed and couldn't believe I could handle not knowing.  She and I are soul mates when it comes to organizing, preparation, etc.  She knows my A++ side real well.  I have pretty much shocked her up to this point.  Now that she is coming to the time when she can find out the sex of her munchkin, she's wanting to keep it a surprise, too.  She and her hubby are trying to come to an agreement on what to do (he wants to know).  Why am I discussing her situation in my blog?  Well, I have received a few questions about why we just won't bite the bullet and find out the sex of the baby.


One of the things I'm looking forward to is the sound of Hubby's voice telling me what we have been blessed with.  We have two girls and a boy in the house right now, so honestly, we just want this baby healthy.  I also have to admit, it is kind of funny to see some friends and family members go crazy by not knowing...they complain about not knowing what to buy...what colors to get things in...what theme to have for the shower....etc.  One of the other "concerns" people have expressed to me is my possibly not being able to bond with the baby without knowing if it's a boy or a girl.  That's something I'm not having difficulty with AT ALL.  As I'm sure you could pick up from the blog, Taz and I have definitely connected, and I'm learning more and more about his/her in-utero personality.  I love it!!!  The BIGGEST argument I have gotten from others is that by not knowing, how am I going to prepare for the baby?


Well....first of all, preparation right now for me is not necessarily focused on the "stuff" needed for when the baby arrives, but being prepared for the actual delivery of the baby.  As far as the "stuff" the baby needs, food is covered (I WILL be exclusively breastfeeding), crib and bedding isn't necessary quite yet (we will be using a co-sleeper), diapers...no problem (mom and sister are holding a "diaper raffle" at the baby shower next weekend -- for every pack / cloth diaper brought there is an entry into the raffle)...and clothes, well, there are PLENTY of absolutely adorable gender-neutral onesies and other clothing I have found.  Also, if this turns out to be a boy, my sister has PLENTY of clothes from my nephew and gift cards allow for mommy to go on a clothing shopping spree!!!


What do I mean by being prepared for the actual delivery of the baby?  I mean understanding the phases of labor in detail...working with my coach (Hubby) on understanding the signs of the changes of phase in labor, coming up with our "Action plan" for the timing of when we decide to go to the hospital...who we are having in the delivery room and why...what food/drink we are packing in our "Birthing bag"...and at this point I'm reading "Husband Coached Childbirth" (The Bradley Method) for natural childbirth.  I realized while in the hospital that though this might not be the home birth I originally wanted, it can still be as natural as I wanted it.  It is about my physical and mental preparation for the delivery as well as Hubby's.  Choreographing our moves so we there is a seamless dance that goes on between us as labor progresses, decreasing stress and anxiety, and improving the likelihood of a peaceful entry into this world for little Taz.  THAT is preparation that does not require knowing the gender of my little one.