Connection Interrupted...

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

~ George Bernard Shaw

For anyone who has been confined to bed rest, they can understand how loneliness can build.  The feeling of loss of control of your life and everything around you just builds and builds along with your feeling of uselessness.  The most interaction you have is with the people you connect with online either through chat rooms filled with people in your similar situation, or taking those awkward phone calls from people you haven't spoken with in a long time calling you to see how you are "recovering".  Don't get me wrong, I TRULY appreciate the gesture, but I haven't suffered an injury or had an illness that I need to recover FROM.  Those who truly KNOW you and your situation are different.  Those are the true breaths of fresh air that help you reconnect with the "outside world".  

Unfortunately, the communication that seems to breakdown and the connection that seems to be the most interrupted is that with your SO (significant other).  I have to say again, my Hubby has been AMAZING through this whole experience, and I couldn't ask for a more supportive partner.  I really couldn't ask for more.  We see each other everyday, especially now that I'm home, but even though we are together...WE are not TOGETHER.

In most cases, I'm asleep or in bed when he gets home from work, and when I wake up in the morning (I stay in bed longer since I'm up every 3 hours to take medications), he is already out of bed and downstairs because he has walked the 11 yr. old to the bus stop.  I shower, get dressed for the day, gather my things to move the "party" downstairs, and head to my other "perch".  As I get down there, he starts on preparing my breakfast.  From that moment on, it is non-stop for him.  He then cleans the kitchen, gets some laundry done, runs errands, grocery shops, all while I'm sitting not being able to help him.  So...even though we are home together...we aren't TOGETHER.

With a routine like that, what is there really to talk about?  What is new with me?  Well...I may have seen a new episode of a television show...or stumbled across a new website...or read a few more chapters in a book.  What I have discovered over the past several days is that I REALLY miss US.  I miss being able to focus on US and the baby together.  The only time we really get that opportunity is to and from Dr. appointments.  Trust me when I say....it's not enough.

For those of you going through something similar, let me give you a heads-up....MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER.  Schedule one-on-one time with NO distractions.  I really took for granted the visits I had from him in the hospital.  They were brief, but the entire time  he was there it was US time...baby time...with no interruptions or distractions.  The nurses would stay away when he came and would come in again after he left.  Now that I'm home, it is different.  We are alone together a lot more, but the distractions of the kids, the house, etc, takes that time away.  Now is the time you need to be strengthening your connection in preparation for the time you need to be the most in sync...The arrival of your little one.

Being on bed rest is a LONELY sentence.  It really is.  Until someone has been there themselves, they truly can't fully understand the impact it has on your psyche.  Physical pains develop from the lack of muscle use and movement.  Psychological pains develop from the lack of interaction with other people.  Life is going on outside your four walls.  Field trips are nice, but where do you go to somewhat feel "normal" again and still not push it?  

Teamwork is the most important during that time and you need to be able to KNOW you can count on each other and both of your needs are met at that time.  There should be absolutely NO static in that line of communication.  I know for me, I want Taz to come earthside to a fully connected parental unit so he/she knows the love we have for him/her from that very first breath.