"By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination."
Christopher Columbus
Monday January 16th I had my first "anxious" day. I woke up feeling antsy, anxious, couldn't relax, and it was driving me crazy. What was different? Why did I feel this way. It wasn't until towards the end of the day that I realized what it was. I was letting the "Outside in". I was thinking of all of the things I "should be" doing outside those hospital walls....responsibilities in the office....my patients' care....the kids' activities....how was Hubby holding up....needing to clean the "nursery nook" in my bedroom...etc...etc... All things I couldn't control as long as I was in the hospital.
It wasn't so much just 1 particular topic, item, bit of information that made me feel this way. It was the cumulation of little bits of info that I had THOUGHT I had just let go, but they were all sticking around waiting to gang up on me at once. Once I realized what was taking me down this negative path, I turned to a gift one of my aunts had brought me a few days prior.
It is a beautiful metal cross with the word "FAITH" across the middle. It was like a smack in the face. Just as I have faith in the power making the body growing inside me, I must remember my faith in that same power overseeing all. I had to remember my purpose...my goal...to successfully keep this baby inside long enough to give it the best start at "life on the outside" as possible. Nothing else mattered again. I woke up from my haze and got back to the task on hand. I was surprised at how hard it would hit so quickly when I let a little distraction in. I was ecstatic when the opposite was even faster!!
Ok...back on track...focus engaged..."blinders on" to the outside "stressors"...BACK TO BUSINESS OF INCUBATION!!! Friday I will be checked to see if I can be cleared to go home on Saturday. Hmmm...as easy as it will be to keep my eye on Friday, I need to keep taking one day at a time.
It wasn't so much just 1 particular topic, item, bit of information that made me feel this way. It was the cumulation of little bits of info that I had THOUGHT I had just let go, but they were all sticking around waiting to gang up on me at once. Once I realized what was taking me down this negative path, I turned to a gift one of my aunts had brought me a few days prior.
Ok...back on track...focus engaged..."blinders on" to the outside "stressors"...BACK TO BUSINESS OF INCUBATION!!! Friday I will be checked to see if I can be cleared to go home on Saturday. Hmmm...as easy as it will be to keep my eye on Friday, I need to keep taking one day at a time.
Love the cross, love your strong faith...
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